Mark Reads ‘Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix’: Chapter 34
In the thirty-fourth chapter of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Harry and his group fly to the Ministry of Magic aboard thestrals. When they arrive, they find the Ministry mysteriously empty. And then, shit begins to get realer than ever before. Intrigued? Then it’s time Mark to read Harry Potter.
CHAPTER 34: THE DEPARTMENT OF MYSTERIES
9:22:56 AM Chrstofthemoment: kasper
9:22:58 AM Chrstofthemoment: kasper
9:22:59 AM Chrstofthemoment: kasper
9:23:04 AM browncorduroy: omg
9:23:05 AM browncorduroy: omg
9:23:06 AM browncorduroy: what
9:23:07 AM browncorduroy: what
9:23:12 AM Chrstofthemoment: i cannot stop watching this
9:23:13 AM Chrstofthemoment: //www.youtube.com/watch?v=BY6mpaVEaTg
9:23:41 AM browncorduroy: you showed me that a few days ago
9:23:49 AM browncorduroy: not that i mind i love it deeply
9:24:35 AM browncorduroy: also
9:24:43 AM browncorduroy: are you going to read chapter 34 immediately
9:25:23 AM Chrstofthemoment: um yes
9:25:37 AM Chrstofthemoment: after I make you watch the other vide I am obsessed with
9:25:37 AM Chrstofthemoment: //www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSQNry_U7oA
9:26:00 AM browncorduroy: omg what
9:26:22 AM browncorduroy: omg walrus
9:26:23 AM browncorduroy: omg
9:26:23 AM Chrstofthemoment: just watch until like 0:50
9:26:23 AM browncorduroy: om
9:26:24 AM browncorduroy: omg
9:26:37 AM browncorduroy: oh shit this is amazing
9:27:29 AM Chrstofthemoment: i know
9:28:37 AM browncorduroy: ok just let me know when you are ready, sir
9:29:00 AM Chrstofthemoment: I am opening my book RIGHT NOW
9:29:12 AM browncorduroy: YEAH
9:29:13 AM browncorduroy: omg
9:29:22 AM Chrstofthemoment: hahaha omg thestrals
9:29:31 AM browncorduroy: omg i know
9:29:34 AM Chrstofthemoment: my friend Sonia yesterday told me she once saw a bumper sticker that said
9:29:38 AM Chrstofthemoment: I SEE THESTRALS
9:29:42 AM browncorduroy: AHJSDHASHDAS
9:29:45 AM browncorduroy: THAT IS BEAUTIFUL
9:29:54 AM browncorduroy: most goth fictional creature ever y/y
9:30:04 AM Chrstofthemoment: seriously
9:30:10 AM Chrstofthemoment: I bet it listens to The Cure.
9:30:44 AM browncorduroy: thestrals probably prefer joy division because at least one of them was goth enough to die
9:30:57 AM browncorduroy: oh god i am literally going to hell
9:31:20 AM Chrstofthemoment: ok that was wildly inappropriate, kasper, and I laughed really hard.
9:32:28 AM browncorduroy: sahjdfhaedfawjekdhsjdsa
9:32:56 AM browncorduroy: i am not proud but i am a comedy genius
9:34:02 AM Chrstofthemoment: oh god this chapter.
9:34:04 AM Chrstofthemoment: like
9:34:07 AM browncorduroy: oh god where are you now
9:34:14 AM browncorduroy: what is happening
9:34:15 AM Chrstofthemoment: I CANNOT IMAGINE HOW WEIRD IT WOULD BE TO FLY ON AN INVISIBLE HORSE
9:34:19 AM Chrstofthemoment: that has to be so fucked up
9:34:22 AM browncorduroy: OH GOD I KNOW RIGHT
9:34:26 AM Chrstofthemoment: though
9:34:36 AM Chrstofthemoment: ron and hermione should be happy not to be able to see them
9:34:46 AM browncorduroy: that is probably the eternal dilemma
9:35:05 AM browncorduroy: and i like how harry goes all “DO YOU MIND” *GRUMPYFACE* whenever one of them says they wish they could see thestrals
9:35:31 AM Chrstofthemoment: hahaahahahah
9:35:36 AM Chrstofthemoment: you are being insensitive
9:35:43 AM browncorduroy: maybe you could use some sensitivity training, ron weasley
9:35:52 AM Chrstofthemoment: Harry Potter and the Why Don’t You Care About My Feelings
9:36:08 AM browncorduroy: Harry Potter and the My Friends Just Don’t Understand
9:36:09 AM Chrstofthemoment: Harry Potter and the My Feelings Are A Delicate Flower
9:36:15 AM Chrstofthemoment: a;lksdjf;lasdjf;asdljfa;lsdkjfas;dj
9:36:17 AM Chrstofthemoment: oh god
9:36:30 AM Chrstofthemoment: I bet everyone thinks I despise Harry Potter at this point
9:36:40 AM browncorduroy: Harry Potter and the Deep and Very Special And Unique Pain That No One Could Ever Possibly Understand
9:36:52 AM Chrstofthemoment: BUT I DO NOT. I JUST LIKE TO MAKE FUN OF HIS PAIN BECAUSE IT IS MY PAIN AND THIS IS HOW I DEAL WITH TRAUMA
9:37:01 AM Chrstofthemoment: oh kasper, that is the best working title for this book EVER
9:37:05 AM browncorduroy: PRETTY MUCH HATERS, YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO
9:37:06 AM browncorduroy: sdhiljfhawkdhawksjdhsd
9:38:11 AM browncorduroy: ok BOOK. READ. ARE YOU READING, SIR
9:38:48 AM Chrstofthemoment: i am
9:38:55 AM Chrstofthemoment: They are descending into London right now
9:39:05 AM browncorduroy: omg
9:39:59 AM Chrstofthemoment: ugh
9:40:02 AM Chrstofthemoment: i am filled with dread
9:40:17 AM browncorduroy: and so you should be, sir
9:40:32 AM Chrstofthemoment: hahaah RON FELL OFF
9:40:42 AM Chrstofthemoment: also i like how Luna is a TOTAL EXPERT AT THIS
9:40:48 AM browncorduroy: hjasdhas RON WEASLEY: PERPETUALLY RUBBISH
9:41:05 AM browncorduroy: dude she probably rides thestrals around over the forbidden forest all the time just for fun
9:41:24 AM browncorduroy: or some fucked up shit like that because that’s just how she rolls and i deeply love her for it
9:43:58 AM Chrstofthemoment: OH GOD I KNOW
9:44:27 AM Chrstofthemoment: LUNA LOVEGOOD IS SO FIERCE
9:44:47 AM browncorduroy: SERIOUSLY
9:44:56 AM browncorduroy: I LOVE HER SO MUCH SHE IS ONE OF MY VERY FAVOURITES
9:45:09 AM Chrstofthemoment: hahsdjfhasdfkjhad
9:45:09 AM Chrstofthemoment: omg
9:45:11 AM Chrstofthemoment: the badge
9:45:14 AM Chrstofthemoment: RESCUE MISSION
9:45:30 AM Chrstofthemoment: THAT IS SO HILARIOUS TO ME
9:46:14 AM Chrstofthemoment: oh shit
9:46:16 AM Chrstofthemoment: kasper
9:46:16 AM Chrstofthemoment: why
9:46:16 AM browncorduroy: HASDHJAS I KNOW
9:46:20 AM browncorduroy: omg
9:46:23 AM Chrstofthemoment: why are there no security agents???
9:46:25 AM Chrstofthemoment: oh my god
9:46:33 AM browncorduroy: oh god i know shit is so fucking eerie
9:46:52 AM Chrstofthemoment: also
9:46:54 AM Chrstofthemoment: my god
9:47:00 AM Chrstofthemoment: WE ARE GOING INTO THE DEPARTMENT OF MYSTERIES
9:47:06 AM browncorduroy: yes
9:47:10 AM browncorduroy: YES WE ARE
9:47:10 AM Chrstofthemoment: lulz my predictions were 100% true
9:47:30 AM browncorduroy: omg are you a Seer, mark
9:48:17 AM Chrstofthemoment: oh what the fuck
9:48:21 AM Chrstofthemoment: THE DOORS MOVED?????
9:48:24 AM Chrstofthemoment: WHAT IS THIS SHIT
9:48:25 AM browncorduroy: YEAH
9:48:29 AM browncorduroy: FOR EXTRA MYSTERIOUSNESS
9:48:31 AM Chrstofthemoment: IS THIS LIKE A DISNEYLAND RIDE OR SOMETHING
9:48:32 AM Chrstofthemoment: hahahahahahahah
9:48:42 AM browncorduroy: WHAT DOOR DID THEY COME IN THROUGH NO ONE KNOWS OH SHIT
9:48:46 AM Chrstofthemoment: I like that idea, that the Department of Mysteries turns everything into a mystery
9:48:51 AM browncorduroy: IT’S LIKE A DISNEYLAND RIDE BUT IN REAL LIFE
9:48:53 AM Chrstofthemoment: Kinglsey, where is my coffe?
9:48:56 AM Chrstofthemoment: coffee*
9:48:59 AM browncorduroy: hjashdajshdasjhdsadsa
9:49:08 AM Chrstofthemoment: WHO KNOWS dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
9:49:25 AM browncorduroy: sjkdhasjhdjaskdhas
9:49:42 AM browncorduroy: Harry Potter And The Mystery Of The Disappearing Office Supplies
9:50:19 AM Chrstofthemoment: Harry Potter and the Where Did My Pocketknife Go
9:50:36 AM browncorduroy: Harry Potter and the Who Stole My Quill, I Need That To Write This Report
9:52:09 AM Chrstofthemoment: Harry Potter and the I Really Hope Dobby Didn’t Take Another One of My Socks Because I Really Hate Going Barefoot In The Common Room
9:53:10 AM Chrstofthemoment: sdfkjsa;lfjas;djf
9:53:53 AM Chrstofthemoment: what the fuck
9:53:54 AM browncorduroy: hjsdhfsajhdsahdsajhdas
9:53:55 AM browncorduroy: omg
9:53:59 AM browncorduroy: what
9:54:04 AM Chrstofthemoment: why is there a tank of brains in the Department of Mysteries?
9:54:14 AM browncorduroy: i don’t know, it is a mystery
9:54:16 AM browncorduroy: ashiduahdajhwqjadhsjdsa
9:54:26 AM Chrstofthemoment: hahahaha I FORGOT THAT
9:54:34 AM browncorduroy: DO YOU SEE NOW, MARK
9:54:36 AM browncorduroy: DO YOU SEE
9:55:21 AM Chrstofthemoment: OH GOD
9:55:26 AM Chrstofthemoment: THIS IS SO DISORIENTING
9:55:32 AM browncorduroy: WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW
9:55:38 AM Chrstofthemoment: They are in the room that’s like an amphitheater?
9:55:38 AM browncorduroy: YOU NEED TO TELL ME THESE THINGS SO I KNOW HOW TO REACT
9:55:42 AM browncorduroy: omg omg omg
9:55:47 AM Chrstofthemoment: with the veil on the stage/center?
9:55:50 AM browncorduroy: YEAH
9:56:43 AM Chrstofthemoment: oh my god
9:56:46 AM Chrstofthemoment: what the fuck
9:56:51 AM Chrstofthemoment: Whispering behind the veil???
9:56:57 AM Chrstofthemoment: and luna can hear it????????
9:56:59 AM Chrstofthemoment: WHAT THE FUCK
9:57:07 AM browncorduroy: this is all very mysterious
9:57:08 AM browncorduroy: asfjoehafjksd
9:57:09 AM browncorduroy: BUT YEAH
9:57:29 AM browncorduroy: I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY BECAUSE BASICALLY YOU THINK YOUR BRAIN HAS EXPLODED BUT YOU STILL HAVE BRAINS LEFT TO BE EVEN MORE EXPLODEDED
9:57:48 AM Chrstofthemoment: OH GOD
9:57:53 AM Chrstofthemoment: SIRIUS’S KNIFE MELTED
9:57:58 AM Chrstofthemoment: WHAT THE SHIT IS HAPPENING
9:58:14 AM browncorduroy: YEAH
9:58:28 AM browncorduroy: THIS IS SOME FUCKED UP ULTRA SERIOUS SECURITY MEASURES SHIT
9:58:42 AM Chrstofthemoment: oh shit
9:58:44 AM Chrstofthemoment: THEY MADE IT!!!!
9:58:46 AM Chrstofthemoment: OH GOD
9:58:47 AM Chrstofthemoment: OH GOD
9:58:48 AM Chrstofthemoment: OH GOD
9:58:58 AM browncorduroy: YEAH
9:58:59 AM browncorduroy: YEAH
9:59:18 AM Chrstofthemoment: OH GOD THEY ARE IN THE ROOM WITH THE ORBS
9:59:57 AM Chrstofthemoment: OH GOD ROW 97
9:59:59 AM Chrstofthemoment: OH GOD
10:00:00 AM Chrstofthemoment: wait.
10:00:01 AM browncorduroy: OH GOD
10:00:02 AM Chrstofthemoment: he’s not there?
10:00:04 AM Chrstofthemoment: what?
10:00:07 AM Chrstofthemoment: hmmm.
10:00:09 AM Chrstofthemoment: i don’t like this
10:00:17 AM browncorduroy: and you really should not, sir
10:01:09 AM Chrstofthemoment: oh
10:01:10 AM Chrstofthemoment: oh my god
10:01:14 AM Chrstofthemoment: oh my god kasper
10:01:21 AM browncorduroy: yeah
10:01:21 AM Chrstofthemoment: WHY IS THERE A SPHERE WITH HARRY’S NAME ON IT
10:01:30 AM browncorduroy: BECAUSE
10:01:43 AM browncorduroy: BECAUSE THIS BOOK IS AN ENDLESS HEADFUCK, THAT’S WHY
10:01:56 AM Chrstofthemoment: WHAT
10:01:57 AM Chrstofthemoment: THE
10:01:58 AM Chrstofthemoment: FUCK
10:02:06 AM Chrstofthemoment: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN
10:02:07 AM Chrstofthemoment: KASPER
10:02:10 AM Chrstofthemoment: WHAT DOES THAT STAND FOR
10:02:21 AM browncorduroy: IT MEANS SOME SHIT IS GOING TO GO DOWN
10:02:31 AM Chrstofthemoment: oh my gopd
10:02:32 AM Chrstofthemoment: SDLKJF;LKDSAJFASDJKASDJF
10:02:33 AM Chrstofthemoment: ASDKFJAS’D;LF
10:02:34 AM Chrstofthemoment: SDAF;ASDKLFJASD
10:02:34 AM Chrstofthemoment: FSADKLFJAL’SDFO
10:02:35 AM Chrstofthemoment: PASDF;AKLSDJFA
10:02:35 AM Chrstofthemoment: S[PDFAS;DKLFJAL’KDSF
10:02:36 AM Chrstofthemoment: SADFK;HLADSJFAKS:”LDF
10:02:39 AM Chrstofthemoment: ‘WHO THE FUCK IS THERE
10:02:41 AM Chrstofthemoment: WHAT THE FUCK
10:02:42 AM Chrstofthemoment: WHAT THE FUCK
10:02:54 AM Chrstofthemoment: OH MY FUCKING GOD
10:02:56 AM Chrstofthemoment: WHAT THE FUCK KASPER
10:02:57 AM browncorduroy: YEAH EVERYTHING IS FUCKED UP AND AWFUL AND WHAT EVEN AND WHY AND ALSO FFFFFFFUUUUU–
10:03:18 AM Chrstofthemoment: JESUS CHRIST, THIS FUCKING BOOK
10:03:18 AM browncorduroy: i think you should read the next chapter immediately, that is what i think
10:03:20 AM browncorduroy: YEAH
10:03:21 AM Chrstofthemoment: HAHFHAJKDSFHASLDHFSA
10:03:21 AM browncorduroy: YEAH
10:03:24 AM Chrstofthemoment: wait so like
10:03:28 AM Chrstofthemoment: something is clearly wrong
10:03:30 AM Chrstofthemoment: because
10:03:37 AM Chrstofthemoment: WHY ARE THERE NO PEOPLE INSIDE THE MINISTRY
10:03:41 AM Chrstofthemoment: this is bothering me deeply
10:03:47 AM browncorduroy: yes
10:03:50 AM browncorduroy: everything is wrong
10:03:54 AM Chrstofthemoment: like JESUS WHYYYYYYYYY
10:03:55 AM Chrstofthemoment: also
10:03:55 AM browncorduroy: and there is only one way to find out what is happening
10:03:56 AM browncorduroy: like
10:04:00 AM browncorduroy: I CANNOT TELL YOU ANYTHING
10:04:01 AM browncorduroy: so
10:04:05 AM Chrstofthemoment: Luna is the only joyous thing in this chapter
10:04:16 AM Chrstofthemoment: i like how she was like OOOH I KNOW WHAT THIS IS
10:04:16 AM browncorduroy: luna brings great joy to my heart
10:04:18 AM Chrstofthemoment: MY DAD IS RIGHT
10:04:35 AM browncorduroy: I KNOW ALL THE THINGS
10:04:42 AM browncorduroy: THEY JUST HAPPEN TO MAKE NO SENSE TO YOU MERE MORTALS
10:04:43 AM browncorduroy: SFDIJSAKHDASJKD
10:06:17 AM Chrstofthemoment: SHE IS THE BEST
10:06:27 AM browncorduroy: SHE TRULY IS UTTERLY WONDERFUL
10:06:45 AM browncorduroy: oh god see i knew you’d want to keep reading immediately
10:06:52 AM Chrstofthemoment: oh god
10:06:54 AM Chrstofthemoment: and guess what
10:06:57 AM Chrstofthemoment: i totally am
10:06:58 AM browncorduroy: but BE FOREWARNED, YOU WON’T WANT TO STOP FOR AT LEAST A COUPLE MORE CHAPTERS