Mark Reads ‘Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince’: Chapter 29

In the twenty-ninth chapter of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, the mourning begins. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to read Harry Potter.

CHAPTER 29: THE PHOENIX LAMENT

• He did not want to leave Dumbledore’s side, he did not want to move anywhere.

And neither do I. When Harry leaves Dumbledore’s body, we leave his body. We leave him behind. We leave his physical state and he’s gone and he won’t be coming back.

God damn it. This is not getting easier.

• A much smaller and warmer hand had enclosed his and was pulling him upward. He obeyed its pressure without really thinking about it. Only as he walked blindly back through the crowd did he realize, from a trace of flowery scenet on the air, that it was Ginny who was leading him back to the castle. Incomprehensible voices battered him, sobs and shouts and wails stabbed the night, but Harry and Ginny walked on, back up the steps into the entrance hall. Faces swam on the edges of Harry’s vision, people were peering at him, whispering, wondering, and Gryffindor rubies glistened on the floor like drops of blood as they made their way toward the marble staircase.

I’m reminded of the chaos upon the moment Harry took the Portkey back from the cemetery at the end of Goblet of Fire. That instance of disorientation and confusion is magnified to a greater extent here because Harry’s a different person this time around. The circumstances are more severe, the result is more harrowing, and, not to discount Cedric, but this is even more important to the series as a whole.

It becomes worse. And it’s a sign that Rowling is willing to take this all to its logical end: the outcome of war is never pretty.

• ”But the Dark Mark—Malfoy said he stepped over a body—“

  “He stepped over Bill, but it’s all right, he’s alive.”

  There was something in her voice, however, that Harry knew boded ill.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Of course I’m sure…he’s a—a bit of a mess, that’s all. Greyback attacked him. Madam Pomfrey says he won’t—won’t look the same anymore….”

  Ginny’s voice trembled a little.

  “We don’t really know what the aftereffects will be—I mean, Greyback being a werewolf, but not transformed at the time.”

OH, FUCK EVERYTHING. Really? REALLY? Like…it’s not bad enough Dumbledore’s dead, but now Bill might possibly be a werewolf? UGH. There are not enough sadfaces in the entire world for this.

• Harry looked over Hermione’s shoulder and saw an unrecognizable face lying on Bill’s pillow, so badly slashed and ripped that he looked grotesque. Madam Pomfrey was dabbing at his wounds with some harsh-smelling green ointment.

Seriously? SERIOUSLY? Ugh.

Actually, this chapter should be renamed to “Everything You Just Read is Worse Than The Thing Before It.”

Are you ready?

• ”Dumbledore might know something that’d work, though,” Ron said. “Where is he? Bill fought those maniacs on Dumbledore’s orders. Dumbledore owes him, he can’t leave him in this state—“

  Ron—Dumbledore’s dead,” said Ginny.

Oh god, this is just fucking awful.

• “No!” Lupin looked wildly from Ginny to Harry, as though hoping the latter might contradict her, but when Harry did not, Lupin collapses into a chair beside Bill’s bed, his hands over his face. Harry had never seen Lupin lose control before; he felt as thought he was intruding upon something private, indecent. He turned away and caught Ron’s eye instead, exchanging in silence a look that confirmed what Ginny had said.

I wanted to at least try to not tear up, but the mental image of Lupin having a breakdown is just too much for me. We can’t forget that Lupin has lost all of his friends as well, and now the man he looks up to the most has also been murdered.

I just want to hug Lupin.

Harry takes the responsibility of informing the group that Snape has killed Dumbeldore; when Madam Pomfrey begins crying, Ginny hushes her. It then provides a moment for all of us to be reminded, once again, just how fucking depressing this is.

• Gulping, Madam Pomfrey pressed her fingers to her mouth, her eyes open wide. Somewhere out in the darkness, a phoenix was singing in a way Harry Had never heard before: a stricken lament of terrible beauty. And Harry felt, as he had felt about phoenix song before, that the music was inside him, not without: It was his own grief turned magically to song that echoed across the grounds and through the castle windows.

Just someone punch me in the face. I can’t read anymore of this.

Oh, so remember when I said this only gets worse? It’s getting worse. Professor McGonagall arrives.

• ”Harry, what happened? According to Hagrid, you were with Professor Dumbledore when he—when it happened. He says Professor Snape was involved in some—“

  “Snape killed Dumbledore,” said Harry.

  She stared at him for a moment, then swayed alarmingly; Madam Pomfrey, who seemed to have pulled herself together, ran forward, conjuring a chair from thin air, which she pushed under McGonagall.

  “Snape,” repeated McGonagall faintly, falling into the chair. “We all wondered…but he trusted…always…Snape…I can’t believe it….”

  “Snape was a highly accomplished Occlumens,” said Lupin, his voice uncharacteristically harsh. “We always knew that.”

  “But Dumbledore swore he was on our side!” whispered Tonks. “I always thought Dumbledore must know something about Snape that we didn’t….”

Not. Any. Easier. It’s difficult to read this because it mirrors what I imagine is going through most people’s heads. We can’t believe Dumbledore was dead, then we can’t believe Snape killed him, and then we start asking questions.

• ”I’d love to know what Snape told him to convince him,” said Tonks.

  “I know,” said Harry, and they all turned to look at him. “Snape passed Voldemort the information that made Voldemort hunt down my mum and dad. Then Snape told Dumbledore he hadn’t realized what he was doing, he was really sorry he’d done it, sorry that they were dead.”

Oh fuck, here it comes.

• ”And Dumbledore believed that?” said Lupin incredulously. “Dumbledore believed Snape was sorry James was dead? Snape hated James….”

  “And he didn’t think my mother was worth a damn either,” said Harry, “because she was Muggle-born….’Mudblood,’ he called her….”

It makes absolutely no sense. I cannot piece this together. There is no way Dumbledore chose to trust Snape based on a mere apology. So even though I haven’t gotten to the point where I post a bunch of my ~extremely accurate theories~, but I’m going to make one now: in Death Hallows, we are going to learn more about exactly what Snape did or said to convince Dumbledore to trust him. The information we’ve been given so far simply doesn’t convince me yet. Perhaps I just think highly of Dumbledore and I can’t bring myself to believe he’d make such a poor mistake. Unless…I’m headed towards some major disappointment.

Damn it.

As Harry is asked more questions about what happened, the details of the past hour or two are filled in. And we’re forced to deal with an uncomfortable reality: Ron and Hermione refused to believe Harry when he was completely right.

It sucks. I really love Ron and Hermione and I think they’re both healthy foils for Harry’s overexcitement, but I have to admit that they fucked up badly in this book. And they admit it, too.

• ”I messed up, Harry,” said Ron bleakly. “We did like you told us: We checked the Marauder’s Map and we couldn’t see Malfoy on it, so we thought he must be in the Room of Requirement, so me, Ginny, and Neville went to keep watch on it…but Malfoy got past us.”

It creates an interesting character predicament: everyone disbelieved Harry after he was so wrong about things during Order of the Phoenix. This, in turn, caused everyone else to be wrong.

It’s so brutal. (I tip my hat to you, Rowling, because this could not have been easy to write.) It’s even worse when you find out Draco used some of Fred and George’s Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder in order to get past those blocking the Room of Requirement.

It gets worse. (Doesn’t it always?) Hermione and Luna were waiting outide Snape’s office. Professor Flitwick rushed inside to inform Snape of what was happening; they overheard a loud thump and Snape told them Flitwick had collapsed, when he had actually stupefied him.

This helps me figure out things a bit more. At that point, it had to have been clear that Snape was going to do what Draco obviously was not going to be able to pull off. The question is: Was he planning to do it since chapter 2? Was that chapter not a red herring at all? Or was there another motive for Snape killing Dumbledore? (I can’t possibly think of one, but it’s just a thought.)

• They all fell silent. Fawkes’s lament was still echoing over the dark grounds outside. As the music reverberated upon the air, unbidden, unwelcome thoughts slunk into Harry’s mind….Had they taken Dumbledore’s body from the foot of the tower yet? What would happen to it next? Where would it rest? He clenched his fists tightly in his pockets. He could feel the small cold lump of the fake Horcrux against the knuckles of his right hand.

I’m running out of ways to say, “This is the saddest thing I have ever read.” Hell, this entire review is one giant entry under, “The Most Depressing Sentence(s) in the English Language,” isn’t it? Ugh, LET ME DAB MY EYES BEFORE I CONTINUE.

There’s only one real strange thing in this chapter, and it’s when Mr. and Mrs. Weasley arrive and Mrs. Weasley laments that Bill was just about to get married. Fleur Delacour is with them and fiercely defends the fact that she has no plans NOT to marry him. Which is wonderful and I’m glad she’s accepting of Bill, no matter what happened to him, but the whole conversation just feels…weird? And kind of forced? As if Rowling really, really, really wanted to include it and just jammed it in here. I don’t know, IT JUST FEELS WEIRD.

What it leads to, however, is one of my favorite parts of the book:

• ”You see!” said a strange voice. Tonks was glaring at Lupin. “She still wants to marry him, even though he’s been bitten! She doesn’t care!”

  “It’s different,” said Lupin, barely moving his lips and looking suddenly tense. “Bill will not be a full werewolf. The cases are completely—“

  “But I don’t care either, I don’t care!” said Tonks, seizing the front of Lupin’s robes and shaking them. “I’ve told you a million times…”

  And the meaning of Tonks’s Patronus and her mouse-colored hair, and the reasons she had come running to find Dumbledore when she had heard a rumor someone had been attacked by Greyback, all suddenly became clear to Harry; it had not been Sirius that Tonks had fallen in love with after all.

WOW. HOLY SHIT!!!! OMG I love these characters so much, especially Lupin, and now there might be a chance for Lupin not only to find happiness, but to have SOME MORE OF THE NARRATIVE FOCUS ON HIM. Please please please please please.

Wow, that sounds really selfish. OH WELL.

• ”I am not being ridiculous,” said Lupin steadily. “Tonks deserves somebody young and whole.”

  “But she wants you,” said Mr. Weasley with a small smile, “And after all, Remus, young and whole men do not necessarily remain so.”

  He gestured sadly at his son, lying between them.

  “This is…not the moment to discuss it,” said Lupin, avoiding everybody’s eyes as he looked around distractedly. “Dumbledore is dead….”

  “Dumbledore would have been happier than anybody to think that there was a little more love in the world,” said Professor McGonagall curtly, just as the hospital doors opened again and Hagrid walked in.

ROWLING, HOW DO YOU MAKE MY HEART BURST AND MY EYES SWELL AT THE SAME TIME. Oh god.

At this point, McGonagall asks Harry if she can have a word with him and Harry agrees; it’s during this time that he realizes she’ll be the new Headmistress and it makes me happy. She’s such a fantastic character, teacher, and person, and I had never even thought about who would take Dumbledore’s place. I’m glad she’s the one.

There, in Dumbledore’s old office, she begins to interrogate Harry about where they went in the hours before Dumbledore was murdered. Harry, more certain than ever, refuses to tell her. On Dumbledore’s orders.

Dumbledore’s man through and through.

The remaining Professors arrive and we learn the other reason for this urgent meeting.

• ”I want to talk about what happens to Hogwarts before he [Scrimgeour] gets here,” she said quickly. “Personally, I am not convinced that the school should reopen next year. The death of the headmaster at the hands of one of our colleagues is a terrible stain upon Hogwarts’s history. It is horrible.”

Oh fuck, I never even considered this. No Hogwarts? This is such a depressing thought.

• ”I am sure Dumbledore would have wanted the school to remain open,” said Professor Sprout. “I feel that if a single pupil wants to come, then the school ought to remain open for that pupil.”

  “But will we have a single pupil after this?” said Slughorn, now dabbing his sweating brow with a silken handkerchief. “Parents will want to keep their children at home and I can’t say I blame them. Personally, I don’t think we’re in more danger at Hogwarts than we are anywhere else, but you can’t expect mothers to think like that. They’ll want to keep their families together, it’s only natural.”

Uhh…..Slughorn? Fathers like keeping their families together too. JUST SAYING.

They agree to wait until the governors make a decision and Harry also convinces McGonagall to keep the school open until after Dumbledore’s funeral. Before Scrimgeour arrives, Harry is given permission to leave; I understand his desire not to have a single word with Scrimgeour, as he most likely just wants Harry to do more PR work for the Ministry.

The Gryffindor common room is a grim sight, as no one is saying much of anything. Harry immediately goes to Ron and Hermione, and Ron asks about the Horcrux. Harry tells them the disappointing news.

• ”R.A.B.,” whispered Ron, “but who was that?”

  “Dunno,” said Harry, lying back on his bed fully clothed and staring blankly upwards. He felt no curiosity at all about R.A.B.: He doubted that he would ever feel curious again. As he lay there, he became aware suddenly that the grounds were silent. Fawkes had stopped singing.

  And he knew, without knowing how he knew it, that the phoenix had gone, had left Hogwarts for good, just as Dumbledore had left the school, had left the world…had left Harry.

I’m going to take the rest of the day off and just cry into my pillow forever.