Mark Reads ‘Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire’: Chapter 32
In the thirty-second chapter of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, there are not enough emoticons in the entire world to express the tragic horror of the events in these seven pages. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to read Harry Potter.
CHAPTER 32: FLESH, BLOOD, AND BONE
10:00:10 PM chrstofthemoment: READING NOW
10:00:16 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): omg excite
10:02:25 PM chrstofthemoment: OH MY GOD
10:02:28 PM chrstofthemoment: OH MY FUCKING GOD
10:02:29 PM chrstofthemoment: OH MY GOD
10:02:30 PM chrstofthemoment: AJSDFKL;JASD;LKFJ
10:02:32 PM chrstofthemoment: ASDJF;LSKADJF;KLADJSF;LKASJDF;LKASJDF;LKASJDF;LKAJSDF
10:02:35 PM chrstofthemoment: DSJFALK;SDJF;ALSDJF;AKSDJF;LASDJF;LAKSDJF;LAKDSJF;ALSDJF;ALSDKJF;ALSDJF;ALSDJF;ALSKDJF
10:02:50 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): YEAH I KNOW RIGHT OH MY GOD HOW MINDFUCKED ARE YOU RIGHT NOW
10:02:57 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): IN FACT ARE YOU DEAD OMG OMG OMG
10:03:01 PM chrstofthemoment: JKLASDFJSNS.AFSMN.ASDFNMAFSDNMASDFNM.ADFSMN,.ASDFNM,
10:03:02 PM chrstofthemoment: WHAT THE FUCKASS
10:03:04 PM chrstofthemoment: SDAKLFJAS;LDKFJA;LSKDFJ;ALSKDJF;ALKSDJF;ALKSDJF;ALKSDJF;LKASDJFASD
10:03:05 PM chrstofthemoment: KASPER
10:03:09 PM chrstofthemoment: :(( L:(DF
10:03:14 PM chrstofthemoment: I AM GOING TO CRY
10:03:16 PM chrstofthemoment: WHAT THE FUCK
10:03:17 PM chrstofthemoment: WHAT THE FUCK
10:03:20 PM chrstofthemoment: WHAT THE FUCK
10:03:22 PM chrstofthemoment: oh my god
10:03:32 PM chrstofthemoment: i always wondered why Cedric was in only one movie
10:03:33 PM chrstofthemoment: oh my god
10:03:37 PM chrstofthemoment: oh my fucking god
10:03:40 PM chrstofthemoment: 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁
10:03:40 PM chrstofthemoment: 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁
10:03:53 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): dskjfhdsjfhsd i know right tears forever
10:04:07 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): CEDRIC WAS A HUFFLEPUFF
10:04:54 PM chrstofthemoment: kasper
10:04:57 PM chrstofthemoment: i can’t read anymore
10:04:58 PM chrstofthemoment: like
10:05:02 PM chrstofthemoment: i just put the book down
10:05:05 PM chrstofthemoment: i am fucking destroyed
10:05:09 PM chrstofthemoment: CEDRIC WAS SO NICE
10:05:12 PM chrstofthemoment: AND HE HELPED HARRY
10:05:16 PM chrstofthemoment: Oh my god his dad
10:05:21 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): oh god i know
10:05:23 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): I KNOW
10:05:23 PM chrstofthemoment: his dad is going to be so fucking sad
10:05:24 PM chrstofthemoment: kasper
10:05:26 PM chrstofthemoment: KASPER
10:05:29 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): 🙁
10:05:30 PM chrstofthemoment: oh my god kasper what do i do
10:05:40 PM chrstofthemoment: i am going to cry THIS IS SO FUCKING DEVASTATING
10:05:41 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): you keep reading and let your brain explode
10:05:44 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): oh god I KNOW
10:05:47 PM chrstofthemoment: OH GOOD POINT.
10:05:50 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): oh god you have officially reached that point
10:05:51 PM chrstofthemoment: I SHOULD PROBABLY KEEP READING
10:05:58 PM chrstofthemoment: wait WHAT POINT IS THIS
10:06:07 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): the point where HARRY POTTER LEGIT DESTROYS YOU
10:06:16 PM chrstofthemoment: WHAT HAVE I BECOME
10:06:20 PM chrstofthemoment: MY SWEETEST THING
10:06:28 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): EVERYONE I LOVE GOES AWAY IN THE END
10:06:33 PM chrstofthemoment: oh my god i am going to quote NIN throughout this
10:06:37 PM chrstofthemoment: that song is so appropriate
10:06:39 PM chrstofthemoment: also
10:06:39 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): you probably should
10:06:45 PM chrstofthemoment: did you see that amazing video that was released
10:06:50 PM chrstofthemoment: of when Bowie and NIN toured
10:06:58 PM chrstofthemoment: and bowie sang that song one night
10:07:00 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): oh god no i didn’t
10:07:01 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): omg
10:07:03 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): omg
10:07:05 PM chrstofthemoment: LET ME GET THIS FOR YOU
10:07:55 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): omg YES PLEASE DO
10:08:12 PM chrstofthemoment: //vimeo.com/12210258
10:08:19 PM chrstofthemoment: get ready to die of awesome.
10:08:25 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): omg excite
10:08:26 PM chrstofthemoment: omg this is supposed to be review time
10:08:36 PM chrstofthemoment: This is how I’m dealing with a distressing situation.
10:08:47 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): this is a completely valid coping mechanism
10:08:50 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): i am here for you bb
10:08:51 PM chrstofthemoment: oh so a really awesome character was just murdered in a very matter-of-fact way
10:08:58 PM chrstofthemoment: LET’S GO ON VIMEO
10:09:03 PM chrstofthemoment: i am a true adult y/y
10:09:06 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): THANK YOU INTERNET
10:09:07 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): yyyy
10:09:16 PM chrstofthemoment: ok, kasper i am going to pick up the book
10:09:18 PM chrstofthemoment: and keep reading
10:09:21 PM chrstofthemoment: is this ok
10:09:26 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): yes it is
10:09:28 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): please do this
10:10:24 PM chrstofthemoment: kasper THE GRAVE
10:10:26 PM chrstofthemoment: TOM RIDDLE
10:10:30 PM chrstofthemoment: OH MY GOD IT’S WORMTAIL
10:10:38 PM chrstofthemoment: oh my god THIS IS WHAT THEY WERE PLANNING THE WHOLE TIME
10:10:39 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): YES
10:10:39 PM chrstofthemoment: WHAT THE FUCK
10:10:44 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): YES
10:11:13 PM chrstofthemoment: WAIT VOLDEMORT IS A BABY IN ROBES
10:11:17 PM chrstofthemoment: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN
10:11:20 PM chrstofthemoment: why am i laughing
10:11:27 PM chrstofthemoment: oh because i am traumatized and dealing with pain
10:11:34 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): ausjashdjashdsa because he is the most evil wizard ever and he is a baby
10:11:36 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): oh yeah that too
10:11:45 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): this is how we deal with painful situations and trauma
10:11:45 PM chrstofthemoment: oh god does that mean this book supports abortion
10:11:52 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): ewkjhfqweflødawpdøs probably
10:11:59 PM chrstofthemoment: oh god let me read more
10:12:56 PM chrstofthemoment: WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
10:13:01 PM chrstofthemoment: WHAT THE FUCK IS VOLDEMORT??????
10:13:17 PM chrstofthemoment: OH GOD he is like those terrifying deep sea creatures that have never seen light ever
10:13:52 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): sdjhfjdshfajhdas pretty much
10:14:23 PM chrstofthemoment: what the fuck is wormtail doing
10:14:30 PM chrstofthemoment: is he conjuring up voldemort’s father?
10:14:32 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): just wait
10:14:33 PM chrstofthemoment: omg is that zombie dust
10:15:03 PM chrstofthemoment: what the fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
10:15:04 PM chrstofthemoment: poh msyf;ladfjkl;sadjf
10:15:06 PM chrstofthemoment: asdfjksafdlafsdjklasfdkl;sadfjklfasdafsdjklafs
10:15:11 PM chrstofthemoment: what did he just do??!?!?!?!?!?!?
10:15:17 PM chrstofthemoment: omg did he cut off his hand.????
10:15:19 PM chrstofthemoment: kasper kasper
10:15:21 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): omg
10:15:23 PM chrstofthemoment: hwat the fuck
10:15:26 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): yes he did
10:15:27 PM chrstofthemoment: i ca’t evn spl
10:15:29 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): eoflsdkjwpeosruq0wafsoidhsg
10:15:30 PM chrstofthemoment: oahsfa sad;klfj sdaf;jklsd;flkjsaf
10:15:33 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): children’s book
10:15:44 PM chrstofthemoment: ksd;fj;klsdjf;ljksfsdkjlf
10:15:53 PM chrstofthemoment: fourteen-year-old me would have loved this, fyi
10:15:55 PM chrstofthemoment: jsyk
10:15:58 PM chrstofthemoment: btw
10:16:01 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): tyvm
10:16:11 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): 15-year-old me totally loved this jsyk btw fyi
10:16:30 PM chrstofthemoment: ;alksdjf;lkasjdf;lkjsdf;lkajsdfkas
10:16:31 PM chrstofthemoment: aksper
10:16:32 PM chrstofthemoment: asdfj;askldfjasdf
10:16:33 PM chrstofthemoment: akasdfslasdkj
10:16:34 PM chrstofthemoment: oh my god
10:16:36 PM chrstofthemoment: oh my god
10:16:40 PM chrstofthemoment: he took Harry’s blood
10:16:45 PM chrstofthemoment: and he is now slumped on the ground
10:16:47 PM chrstofthemoment: he has a stump
10:16:50 PM chrstofthemoment: oh my god
10:16:53 PM chrstofthemoment: this is fucking HORRIFYING
10:17:05 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): yes
10:17:07 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): yes it is
10:17:08 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): wepsdofklsdhfds
10:17:19 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): are you having trouble breathing right now just wondering
10:17:26 PM chrstofthemoment: DFHJKLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAS
10:17:27 PM chrstofthemoment: SDFHJKLKL;ASDJF;LKAJSDFLKADF
10:17:29 PM chrstofthemoment: ASDFKJASDJ;FLKJASD;LKFJAS;DLFKJAS;DLFJA;SDKJF;ALKSDJF
10:17:30 PM chrstofthemoment: ASDFJK;ASDJFPAOISEURT;LKV;LKJSD
10:17:31 PM chrstofthemoment: ADSAFJK;ASDJF;LASKJDFASD
10:17:35 PM chrstofthemoment: FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
10:17:53 PM chrstofthemoment: “LORD VOLDEMORT HAD RISEN AGAIN.”
10:17:57 PM chrstofthemoment: OH MY FUCKING GOD
10:18:00 PM chrstofthemoment: WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST READ
10:18:02 PM chrstofthemoment: WHAT THE FUCK
10:18:03 PM chrstofthemoment: KASPER
10:18:04 PM chrstofthemoment: KASPER
10:18:04 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): YEAH PRETTY MUCH
10:18:06 PM chrstofthemoment: OH MY GOD
10:18:21 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): THE RESURRECTION OF WIZARD HITLER BASICALLY
10:18:30 PM chrstofthemoment: KASPER THIS IS THE MOST HORRIFYING THING IN THE SERIES SO FAR
10:18:32 PM chrstofthemoment: LIKE
10:18:34 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): YEAH I KNOW
10:18:34 PM chrstofthemoment: rowling is just like
10:18:35 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): I KNOW
10:18:59 PM chrstofthemoment: “Cedric was lying spread-eagled on the ground beside him. He was dead.”
10:19:02 PM chrstofthemoment: NO POETRY
10:19:07 PM chrstofthemoment: OR LONG, FLOWERY PASSAGES
10:19:07 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): yeah
10:19:08 PM chrstofthemoment: JUST
10:19:12 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): exactly
10:19:13 PM chrstofthemoment: DEAL WITH IT, MOTHERFUCKERS
10:19:19 PM chrstofthemoment: oh my god
10:19:20 PM chrstofthemoment: oh my god
10:19:21 PM chrstofthemoment: kasper
10:19:22 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): just BAM TRAGEDY IN YOUR FACE
10:19:26 PM chrstofthemoment: i don’t want to write a review
10:19:32 PM chrstofthemoment: how can i fucking stop reading now
10:19:39 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): pretty much right
10:19:40 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): oh god
10:19:42 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): i don’t know
10:19:48 PM chrstofthemoment: oh god
10:19:58 PM chrstofthemoment: can i just use this AIM transcript as the review
10:20:02 PM chrstofthemoment: that way I can continue reading
10:20:08 PM chrstofthemoment: because then my review is done already
10:20:17 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): oh god you have my permission
10:20:21 PM chrstofthemoment: I mean, it’s not like we haven’t done this before.
10:20:40 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): indeed, sir
10:20:44 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): you should probably do that
10:20:48 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): and then keep reading asap omg
10:20:58 PM chrstofthemoment: ok this is what i’m doing
10:21:02 PM chrstofthemoment: brb copy pasting
10:21:05 PM chrstofthemoment: then more reading
10:21:25 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): omg excite
10:23:00 PM chrstofthemoment: hahahdsjkflhdslfkjhads