Mark Reads ‘Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire’: Chapter 32

In the thirty-second chapter of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, there are not enough emoticons in the entire world to express the tragic horror of the events in these seven pages. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to read Harry Potter.

CHAPTER 32: FLESH, BLOOD, AND BONE

10:00:10 PM chrstofthemoment: READING NOW

10:00:16 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): omg excite

10:02:25 PM chrstofthemoment: OH MY GOD

10:02:28 PM chrstofthemoment: OH MY FUCKING GOD

10:02:29 PM chrstofthemoment: OH MY GOD

10:02:30 PM chrstofthemoment: AJSDFKL;JASD;LKFJ

10:02:32 PM chrstofthemoment: ASDJF;LSKADJF;KLADJSF;LKASJDF;LKASJDF;LKASJDF;LKAJSDF

10:02:35 PM chrstofthemoment: DSJFALK;SDJF;ALSDJF;AKSDJF;LASDJF;LAKSDJF;LAKDSJF;ALSDJF;ALSDKJF;ALSDJF;ALSDJF;ALSKDJF

10:02:50 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): YEAH I KNOW RIGHT OH MY GOD HOW MINDFUCKED ARE YOU RIGHT NOW

10:02:57 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): IN FACT ARE YOU DEAD OMG OMG OMG

10:03:01 PM chrstofthemoment: JKLASDFJSNS.AFSMN.ASDFNMAFSDNMASDFNM.ADFSMN,.ASDFNM,

10:03:02 PM chrstofthemoment: WHAT THE FUCKASS

10:03:04 PM chrstofthemoment: SDAKLFJAS;LDKFJA;LSKDFJ;ALSKDJF;ALKSDJF;ALKSDJF;ALKSDJF;LKASDJFASD

10:03:05 PM chrstofthemoment: KASPER

10:03:09 PM chrstofthemoment: :(( L:(DF

10:03:14 PM chrstofthemoment: I AM GOING TO CRY

10:03:16 PM chrstofthemoment: WHAT THE FUCK

10:03:17 PM chrstofthemoment: WHAT THE FUCK

10:03:20 PM chrstofthemoment: WHAT THE FUCK

10:03:22 PM chrstofthemoment: oh my god

10:03:32 PM chrstofthemoment: i always wondered why Cedric was in only one movie

10:03:33 PM chrstofthemoment: oh my god

10:03:37 PM chrstofthemoment: oh my fucking god

10:03:40 PM chrstofthemoment: 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁

10:03:40 PM chrstofthemoment: 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁

10:03:53 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): dskjfhdsjfhsd i know right tears forever

10:04:07 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): CEDRIC WAS A HUFFLEPUFF

10:04:54 PM chrstofthemoment: kasper

10:04:57 PM chrstofthemoment: i can’t read anymore

10:04:58 PM chrstofthemoment: like

10:05:02 PM chrstofthemoment: i just put the book down

10:05:05 PM chrstofthemoment: i am fucking destroyed

10:05:09 PM chrstofthemoment: CEDRIC WAS SO NICE

10:05:12 PM chrstofthemoment: AND HE HELPED HARRY

10:05:16 PM chrstofthemoment: Oh my god his dad

10:05:21 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): oh god i know

10:05:23 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): I KNOW

10:05:23 PM chrstofthemoment: his dad is going to be so fucking sad

10:05:24 PM chrstofthemoment: kasper

10:05:26 PM chrstofthemoment: KASPER

10:05:29 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): 🙁

10:05:30 PM chrstofthemoment: oh my god kasper what do i do

10:05:40 PM chrstofthemoment: i am going to cry THIS IS SO FUCKING DEVASTATING

10:05:41 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): you keep reading and let your brain explode

10:05:44 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): oh god I KNOW

10:05:47 PM chrstofthemoment: OH GOOD POINT.

10:05:50 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): oh god you have officially reached that point

10:05:51 PM chrstofthemoment: I SHOULD PROBABLY KEEP READING

10:05:58 PM chrstofthemoment: wait WHAT POINT IS THIS

10:06:07 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): the point where HARRY POTTER LEGIT DESTROYS YOU

10:06:16 PM chrstofthemoment: WHAT HAVE I BECOME

10:06:20 PM chrstofthemoment: MY SWEETEST THING

10:06:28 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): EVERYONE I LOVE GOES AWAY IN THE END

10:06:33 PM chrstofthemoment: oh my god i am going to quote NIN throughout this

10:06:37 PM chrstofthemoment: that song is so appropriate

10:06:39 PM chrstofthemoment: also

10:06:39 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): you probably should

10:06:45 PM chrstofthemoment: did you see that amazing video that was released

10:06:50 PM chrstofthemoment: of when Bowie and NIN toured

10:06:58 PM chrstofthemoment: and bowie sang that song one night

10:07:00 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): oh god no i didn’t

10:07:01 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): omg

10:07:03 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): omg

10:07:05 PM chrstofthemoment: LET ME GET THIS FOR YOU

10:07:55 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): omg YES PLEASE DO

10:08:12 PM chrstofthemoment: //vimeo.com/12210258

10:08:19 PM chrstofthemoment: get ready to die of awesome.

10:08:25 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): omg excite

10:08:26 PM chrstofthemoment: omg this is supposed to be review time

10:08:36 PM chrstofthemoment: This is how I’m dealing with a distressing situation.

10:08:47 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): this is a completely valid coping mechanism

10:08:50 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): i am here for you bb

10:08:51 PM chrstofthemoment: oh so a really awesome character was just murdered in a very matter-of-fact way

10:08:58 PM chrstofthemoment: LET’S GO ON VIMEO

10:09:03 PM chrstofthemoment: i am a true adult y/y

10:09:06 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): THANK YOU INTERNET

10:09:07 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): yyyy

10:09:16 PM chrstofthemoment: ok, kasper i am going to pick up the book

10:09:18 PM chrstofthemoment: and keep reading

10:09:21 PM chrstofthemoment: is this ok

10:09:26 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): yes it is

10:09:28 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): please do this

10:10:24 PM chrstofthemoment: kasper THE GRAVE

10:10:26 PM chrstofthemoment: TOM RIDDLE

10:10:30 PM chrstofthemoment: OH MY GOD IT’S WORMTAIL

10:10:38 PM chrstofthemoment: oh my god THIS IS WHAT THEY WERE PLANNING THE WHOLE TIME

10:10:39 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): YES

10:10:39 PM chrstofthemoment: WHAT THE FUCK

10:10:44 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): YES

10:11:13 PM chrstofthemoment: WAIT VOLDEMORT IS A BABY IN ROBES

10:11:17 PM chrstofthemoment: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

10:11:20 PM chrstofthemoment: why am i laughing

10:11:27 PM chrstofthemoment: oh because i am traumatized and dealing with pain

10:11:34 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): ausjashdjashdsa because he is the most evil wizard ever and he is a baby

10:11:36 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): oh yeah that too

10:11:45 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): this is how we deal with painful situations and trauma

10:11:45 PM chrstofthemoment: oh god does that mean this book supports abortion

10:11:52 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): ewkjhfqweflødawpdøs probably

10:11:59 PM chrstofthemoment: oh god let me read more

10:12:56 PM chrstofthemoment: WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10:13:01 PM chrstofthemoment: WHAT THE FUCK IS VOLDEMORT??????

10:13:17 PM chrstofthemoment: OH GOD he is like those terrifying deep sea creatures that have never seen light ever

10:13:52 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): sdjhfjdshfajhdas pretty much

10:14:23 PM chrstofthemoment: what the fuck is wormtail doing

10:14:30 PM chrstofthemoment: is he conjuring up voldemort’s father?

10:14:32 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): just wait

10:14:33 PM chrstofthemoment: omg is that zombie dust

10:15:03 PM chrstofthemoment: what the fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

10:15:04 PM chrstofthemoment: poh msyf;ladfjkl;sadjf

10:15:06 PM chrstofthemoment: asdfjksafdlafsdjklasfdkl;sadfjklfasdafsdjklafs

10:15:11 PM chrstofthemoment: what did he just do??!?!?!?!?!?!?

10:15:17 PM chrstofthemoment: omg did he cut off his hand.????

10:15:19 PM chrstofthemoment: kasper kasper

10:15:21 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): omg

10:15:23 PM chrstofthemoment: hwat the fuck

10:15:26 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): yes he did

10:15:27 PM chrstofthemoment: i ca’t evn spl

10:15:29 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): eoflsdkjwpeosruq0wafsoidhsg

10:15:30 PM chrstofthemoment: oahsfa sad;klfj sdaf;jklsd;flkjsaf

10:15:33 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): children’s book

10:15:44 PM chrstofthemoment: ksd;fj;klsdjf;ljksfsdkjlf

10:15:53 PM chrstofthemoment: fourteen-year-old me would have loved this, fyi

10:15:55 PM chrstofthemoment: jsyk

10:15:58 PM chrstofthemoment: btw

10:16:01 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): tyvm

10:16:11 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): 15-year-old me totally loved this jsyk btw fyi

10:16:30 PM chrstofthemoment: ;alksdjf;lkasjdf;lkjsdf;lkajsdfkas

10:16:31 PM chrstofthemoment: aksper

10:16:32 PM chrstofthemoment: asdfj;askldfjasdf

10:16:33 PM chrstofthemoment: akasdfslasdkj

10:16:34 PM chrstofthemoment: oh my god

10:16:36 PM chrstofthemoment: oh my god

10:16:40 PM chrstofthemoment: he took Harry’s blood

10:16:45 PM chrstofthemoment: and he is now slumped on the ground

10:16:47 PM chrstofthemoment: he has a stump

10:16:50 PM chrstofthemoment: oh my god

10:16:53 PM chrstofthemoment: this is fucking HORRIFYING

10:17:05 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): yes

10:17:07 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): yes it is

10:17:08 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): wepsdofklsdhfds

10:17:19 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): are you having trouble breathing right now just wondering

10:17:26 PM chrstofthemoment: DFHJKLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAS

10:17:27 PM chrstofthemoment: SDFHJKLKL;ASDJF;LKAJSDFLKADF

10:17:29 PM chrstofthemoment: ASDFKJASDJ;FLKJASD;LKFJAS;DLFKJAS;DLFJA;SDKJF;ALKSDJF

10:17:30 PM chrstofthemoment: ASDFJK;ASDJFPAOISEURT;LKV;LKJSD

10:17:31 PM chrstofthemoment: ADSAFJK;ASDJF;LASKJDFASD

10:17:35 PM chrstofthemoment: FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

10:17:53 PM chrstofthemoment: “LORD VOLDEMORT HAD RISEN AGAIN.”

10:17:57 PM chrstofthemoment: OH MY FUCKING GOD

10:18:00 PM chrstofthemoment: WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST READ

10:18:02 PM chrstofthemoment: WHAT THE FUCK

10:18:03 PM chrstofthemoment: KASPER

10:18:04 PM chrstofthemoment: KASPER

10:18:04 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): YEAH PRETTY MUCH

10:18:06 PM chrstofthemoment: OH MY GOD

10:18:21 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): THE RESURRECTION OF WIZARD HITLER BASICALLY

10:18:30 PM chrstofthemoment: KASPER THIS IS THE MOST HORRIFYING THING IN THE SERIES SO FAR

10:18:32 PM chrstofthemoment: LIKE

10:18:34 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): YEAH I KNOW

10:18:34 PM chrstofthemoment: rowling is just like

10:18:35 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): I KNOW

10:18:59 PM chrstofthemoment: “Cedric was lying spread-eagled on the ground beside him. He was dead.”

10:19:02 PM chrstofthemoment: NO POETRY

10:19:07 PM chrstofthemoment: OR LONG, FLOWERY PASSAGES

10:19:07 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): yeah

10:19:08 PM chrstofthemoment: JUST

10:19:12 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): exactly

10:19:13 PM chrstofthemoment: DEAL WITH IT, MOTHERFUCKERS

10:19:19 PM chrstofthemoment: oh my god

10:19:20 PM chrstofthemoment: oh my god

10:19:21 PM chrstofthemoment: kasper

10:19:22 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): just BAM TRAGEDY IN YOUR FACE

10:19:26 PM chrstofthemoment: i don’t want to write a review

10:19:32 PM chrstofthemoment: how can i fucking stop reading now

10:19:39 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): pretty much right

10:19:40 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): oh god

10:19:42 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): i don’t know

10:19:48 PM chrstofthemoment: oh god

10:19:58 PM chrstofthemoment: can i just use this AIM transcript as the review

10:20:02 PM chrstofthemoment: that way I can continue reading

10:20:08 PM chrstofthemoment: because then my review is done already

10:20:17 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): oh god you have my permission

10:20:21 PM chrstofthemoment: I mean, it’s not like we haven’t done this before.

10:20:40 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): indeed, sir

10:20:44 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): you should probably do that

10:20:48 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): and then keep reading asap omg

10:20:58 PM chrstofthemoment: ok this is what i’m doing

10:21:02 PM chrstofthemoment: brb copy pasting

10:21:05 PM chrstofthemoment: then more reading

10:21:25 PM KASPER (rudolfnilsen): omg excite

10:23:00 PM chrstofthemoment: hahahdsjkflhdslfkjhads