Mark Reads ‘Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire’: Chapter 28

In the twenty-eighth chapter of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Winky is sad and Mr. Crouch is absolutely bonkers. We’re almost there, guys. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to read Harry Potter.

CHAPTER 28: THE MADNESS OF MR. CROUCH

Poor Winky. Jesus, this is depressing.

When Hermione, Ron, and Harry go to the kitchen to fetch food for Sirius, Hermione asks Dobby where Winky is. And we learn that Crouch’s unbelievably selfish actions have ruined Winky’s entire life.

• Harry looked over at the fireplace too. Winky was sitting on the same stool as last time, but she allowed herself to become so filthy that she was not immediately distinguishable from the smoke-blackened brick behind her. Her clothes were ragged and unwashed. She was clutching a bottle of butterbeer and swaying slightly on her stool, staring into the fire. As they watched her, she gave an enormous hiccup.

She’s deconstructed her own self. I think this is a brilliant, but sad, way to show how Crouch’s actions and his desire to protect his perfect wizard image have so detrimentally affected another being. By dismissing Winky, he thrust her into a world that was jarring and unfamiliar. And she didn’t know how to deal with it.

Fuck Barty Crouch, man.

Harry almost gets some crucial information out of Winky about Crouch, though. We know he’s got some big secret but…sigh. Still don’t know what it is.

Hermione gets a lot of hate mail for the article Rita Skeeter wrote about Harry’s heartbreak. I have a feeling Rowling has a grand scheme for Hermione to get back at Rita, but I’m not sure what it is. I’m glad Harry is doing as much as he can to not make things any more awkward or terrible than they are; and at this point, he kind of owes Hermione a lot for what she did for him.

It was pretty sad when Hermione got injured by the bubotuber pus inside one of the hate letters. 🙁 🙁 🙁

You know what else is sad? Ron hating being poor.

• “I didn’t know leprechaun gold vanishes,” Ron muttered. “I thought I was paying you back. You shouldn’t’ve given me that Chudley Cannon hat for Christmas.”

  “Forget it, all right?” said Harry.

  Ron speared a roast potato on the end of his fork, glaring at it. Then he said, “I hate being poor.”

  Harry and Hermione looked at each other. Neither of them really knew what to say.

  “It’s rubbish,” said Ron, still glaring down at his potato. “I don’t blame Fred and George for trying to make some extra money. Wish I could. Wish I had a niffler.”

Ron, you literally understand all my pain. I hated being poor too and it made me so depressed.

oh gooodddddddddd why is this book why

Harry also finds out what the Third Task is and, so far, I’m not quite that impressed. Turns out they built a maze inside the Quidditch stadium and the first person to get to the Triwizard Cup, which is protected by monsters and spells, is the one who wins.

Ok? That’s it? I mean, I know I’m going to eat my words in a few chapters when SHIT GETS SO FUCKING REAL, but I’m not that impressed. Yet.

But you know, maybe in hindsight I’m not that impressed because what happens after the Third Task is revealed is SO FUCKING WILD.

Like…I barely understand it myself. Victor Krum pulls Harry aside to ask him about Hermione and if they are actually exes. Which…they’re not.

And then. JESUS. I DON’T KNOW HOW TO DESCRIBE THIS so I will let Rowling do it for me.

• Suddenly a man staggered out from behind a tall oak. For a moment, Harry didn’t recognize him…then he realized it was Mr. Crouch.

  He looked as though he had been traveling for days. The knees of his robes were ripped and bloody, his face scratched; he was unshaven and gray with exhaustion. His neat hair and mustache were both in need of a wash and a trim. His strange appearance, however, was nothing to the way he was behaving. Muttering and gesticulating, Mr. Crouch appeared to be talking to someone that he alone could see.

WHAT.

• “…and when you’re done that, Weatherby, send an owl to Dumbledore confirming the number of Durmstrang students who will be attending the tournament, Karkaroff has just sent word there will be twelve….”

  “Mr. Crouch?” said Harry cautiously.

  “…and then send another owl to Madame Maxime, because she might want to up the number of students she’s bringing, now Karkaroff’s made it a round dozen…do that, Weatherby, will you? Will you? Will…”

  Mr. Crouch’s eyes were bulging. He stood staring at the tree, muttering soundlessly at it. Then he staggered sideways and fell to his knees.

WHAT THE FLYING FUCK IS HAPPENING.

So while Crouch is just flipping the fuck out, Victor Krum is also freaking out.

Crouch grabs Harry and starts yelling at him to get Dumbledore. He starts saying more weird shit, and Harry convinces Krum to stay with him while he goes to get Dumbledore. But then….WHAT THE—

• “Don’t…leave…me!” he whispered, his eyes bulging again. “I…escaped…must warn…must tell…see Dumbledore…my fault…all my fault…Bertha…dead…all my fault…my son…my fault…tell Dumbledore…Harry Potter…the Dark Lord…stronger…Harry Potter…”

OH GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING.

This is wild. WHAT IS GOING ONE. what did he survive and escape from WHAT IS HE TALKING ABOUT.

So Harry goes to get Dumbledore, runs into Snape (lol), and when they return, Crouch is gone. And shit is fucked up.

• Harry and Dumbledore hurried forward. Krum was sprawled on the forest floor. He seemed to be unconscious. There was no sign at all of Mr. Crouch. Dumbledore bent over Krum and gently lifted one of his eyelids.

Someone stunned Krum, and when Dumbledore wakes him up, they find out he was attacked from behind. So…maybe Krum wasn’t attacked by Crouch?

WHAT IS HAPPENING GUYS

So then Karkaroff shows up and then Hagrid shows up and then Karkaroff claims that this is all some CONSPIRACY, MAN against his team and then HAGRID IS A FUCKING BADASS AND SHOVES KARKAROFF INTO A GODDAMN TREE and then Dumbledore tells everyone to calm down because he is a suave motherfucker and the tells Hagrid to take Harry back to his room and then Hagrid gets mad and says some kind xenophobic shit and Harry calls him on it since he’s totally after Madame Maxime and then everyone is kind of huffy and I can’t breathe because I am so utterly full of anxiety and I seriously have no idea where this is going at all

OH GOD OH GOD MORE REVIEWS OVER THE WEEKEND I PROMISE. I CAN’T STOP. I CAN’T STOP.

(FYI: I’m going to finish this book before Friday. Liveblog will be in a week on Saturday, August 21. Probably around noon. YAY WE ARE FINALLY HAVING A WEEKEND LIVEBLOG.)

Ok, back to more reading and more reviewing. OH GOD CAN’T STOP.