Explaining the Video: Brandon Flowers ‘Crossfire’
Brandon Flowers is…contemplative.
Brandon Flowers is…looking a little beat up.
Brandon Flowers is…tied to a chair?
Is this one of those weird Mormon things?
Oh, wait, there’s explosions and ninjas. So, not a Mormon thing. Unless the Mormons are taking cues from Michael Bay these days.
But whoever will save Brandon Flowers from the burning ninjas? Better yet, who set the ninjas on fire?
“LARA CROFT, IS THAT YOU?”
“No. I’m not Lara Croft. But watch this.”
“I totally just killed that ninja.”
“That was really awesome. You know. The way you just killed that guy without even looking at him?”
“Yeah, I know.”
Brandon Flowers is…strapped to what’s left of an old mattress?
Ooooh! Brandon Flowers is…BEING TORTURED!
Oh man, they are TOTALLY going to hook a car battery up to his ‘nards.
But, WAIT! We’ve got EXPLOSIONS!
But who’s going to defeat these ninjas?
“HI GUYS!”
HOLY CRAP.
Blonde Lara Croft just out-Ninjaed PROFESSIONAL NINJAS.
Brandon Flowers is…more turned on by this scenario than he probably should be.
“Hi honey!”
“Hi.”
“Do you think enough people have figured out…hold on.”
“Okay, do you think enough people have figured out that this whole video is just a gender swapped play on the stereotypical action movie with the super competant and powerful male hero and the helpless damsel in distress ‘heroine?'”
“Hmmm…maybe, but just to be safe, you’d better kill some more ninjas. Are you okay with that?”
“Well, if you insist…”
“More ninjas? EVERY LEVEL IN THIS GAME IS EXACTLY THE SAME.”
“There. Ninjas are gone.”
Brandon Flowers is…upside down.
“We have got to stop meeting this way.”
“Lamest. Line. Ever.”
*hums*
“What are you humming?”
“Nothing.”
“…you are totally humming “Hangin’ Around” by the Counting Crows, aren’t you?”
*LATER*
“Brandon…do you think maybe the metaphors we were using here were a little heavy-handed?”
“Yes. But what we did, we did for the good of the world.”
“Now let’s drive off into the sunset.”
