Didn’t Like the Ending of LOST? Try One of These!

So, apparently this LOST show aired it’s series finale last night. Some people liked it, some are conflicted and some think it’s the worst thing ever.

Well, guys, look. You got an ending. It’s a lot more than some series (Firefly? The Pirates of Dark Water?) ever get. But if you really, really hated the ending to LOST, here’s some alternate looks at what they COULD have done:

10. The Seinfeld:

Kate, Sawyer, Claire, Richard, Miles, and Frank board the plane and fly back to civilization. Upon arriving, they’re arrested, put on trial where the Soup Nazi testifies against them, and are sentenced to time in jail. Upon arriving in their cell, Miles starts talking about Frank’s shirt buttons.

9. The Shyamalan:

That’s not really an island. It’s Bruce Willis’ head. Also, he’s a ghost. Also, the trees are trying to kill everyone. Also, a mostly-Asian cast of characters is played by a bunch of white people. Also, it’s just terrible.

8. The Wayne’s World 2:

Just as everything is about to go to hell, Aerosmith actually shows up and plays that concert. Schwing!

7. The Cheers:

As another group of castaways arrives on the island, they’re met by a saddened Hurley who tells them “Sorry, we’re closed.”

6. The Twilight Saga:

Oh no! The Man in Black is about to escape! All hell is about to break loose! But…wait…they…they just talked it out. And decided it was okay. Kate gives birth to a magical hybrid baby that Flocke imprints on. And for some reason people are okay with this.

5. The Harry Potter:

The Man in Black kills Jack, but Dumbledor shows up in his dream world and tells him, hey, look, you can go back to living, and it’ll be hard, and kill this mofo OR you can go to heaven right now. Jack chooses to kick the Man in Black’s ass. Then he marries Ginny Weasley.

4. The WWF:

The Man in Black’s about to recover and escape the steel cage island but…OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD, DESMOND JUST HIT THE MAN IN BLACK ON THE HEAD WITH A STEEL CHAIR! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? THIS IS SHAPING UP TO BE ONE HELL OF A SLOBBERKNOCKER!

3. The Michael Bay:

The finale is a solid two and a half hours of the island exploding while people run away from it. For some reason, Megan Fox is there.

2. The Scooby Doo:

Flocke’s been wearing a mask this whole time! The gang tracks him down and pulls off his mask to reveal that this whole time he’s secretly been…Don Knotts. And he’d have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for those pesky kids…and that POLAR BEAR.

1. The Dallas:

Claire wakes up alone in bed and hears the shower running. She approaches it and throws it open to reveal a naked Patrick Duffy. She tells him she’s so relieved because it was just a dream. A horrible, horrible dream.