Spencer & Heidi Speak:

MTV Reality World has an Exclusive interview with Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt of The Hills. Here’s an excerpt:

MTV Reality World: I understand you have some blogs coming out. What can we look forward to seeing there?

Spencer: Well, I want to start to have our side of the story come out. I want to get a blog so people can know what’s going on with Spencer on the daily. Lauren narrates The Hills. Spencer is going to narrate his blog. Imagine if Spencer narrated The Hills… It’s how you skew it. If I’m the narrator, wait to see how much people love Spencer.

Wait. Does Spencer know blogging involves writing? MTV Reality World: How has the show changed your lives?Heidi: People recognize us when we go out.Spencer: They notice us for being in love… I’ve never been this in love in my whole life. Heidi is the sexiest girl I’ve ever met. I wouldn’t leave Heidi for those Playboy bunnies. I wouldn’t leave Heidi for the Playboy mansion!

Chhhhyeahhh sure dude. Call his “homeboy phone” and see if he gives you the same answer then.

MTV Reality World: What’s in the future for you guys?Heidi: I’m never letting this one go!Spencer: The bottom line about me wanting to move in with her is that I haven’t left this girl’s side since I met her. I’m obsessed with her. Everyone says I can’t get into the clubs anymore, but the truth is I don’t go to clubs anymore because I like to cuddle up in bed with my girlfriend with some DVDs.Heidi: I wouldn’t want to go to clubs anymore. I have so much more fun watching DVDs with Spencer and cuddling.

Right, Pratt. I think I learned about that cognitive coping technique in Psych 101. It’s called counter-attitudinal advocacy— you know the story about the monkey who kept trying unsuccessfully to get the bananas off this really tall tree, so in his head he decides that the bananas are rotten and he wouldn’t want them anyway? That’s totally you. You know you long for “da club.” Don’t deny it.

If you haven’t upchucked your lunch yet, you can read the rest here.