you don’t forget a night like this.

even if i try to explain my life, people still wont understand. a saturday night. sushi with audrey, will “kid paparazzi”, andrew “chicken” chris & mike “friends from vegas”. after we finished our dinner we made out way to this art show in venice. the artist was tomoo, an amazing painter from Japan. on the drive we had to put 2 people in the front seat, and the rest in back, since there were too many to fit in my car. once we got to the show, chicken was a little tipsy, and had a hard time walking. i was afraid he would collapse into a painting so we told him to sit out on the steps and we would be out shortly. while we were inside we saw some great art, wrestlers from mexico and got to hang with tokidoki. we were there for about 15 minutes, then decided to head back to the apart since chicken was a mess.. everything went downhill from there. the night was about to hit rock bottom. once we got home, will was taking photos, everyone was hanging out, things were good. a little later dev showed up with his friend brian. the rooms got louder, audrey and i, running around with crowns and smeared red lip stick. rock shirts and high socks. the neighbors, probably wanting to kill me from the noise. around midnight nodar, oli and some random russian bust the door open and start freaking out on chicken, saying he screwed them over.. next thing you know ryan and chubs show up.. and a huge fight goes down. chubs ends up fighting oli and winning. after fighting for 5 minutes they ended up knowing some of the same people and working shit out. after that all i wanted to do was go to bed. i was left with blood on my front door, and chicken passed out in the stuffed animals in my room. 20 minutes go by.. nodar and oli show up again.. only this time they have no shirts on.. holding baseball bats, and nodar has a pink bandana.. they ask if ryan and chubs are still here.. i reply no.. then they leave..AFTER that.. i realize my ipod is missing and we found it in the back of brians pants.. he didnt even remember taking it, but its still no excuse..

that was just a saturday night..

monday some 15 year old kids thought it would be cool to break into my apartment, steal my laptop and sidekick.. little do they know, i know all their names and the cops do too.. nice try..

my life has been non stop. i need a vacation. never a dull moment in this city. even by telling you these stories you will never know how it really felt. how it felt to watch this all happen, just wanting every minute of it to be over. the feeling of content and security is long gone, i now need to regain that. i look like a broken doll today. with messy hair and a ripped dress. even though these past few days have been complete madness, i dont regret them. you grow from these kind of experiences. it taught me i cant be as trusting of people as i usually am. you will never truely know anyone. everyone has their secrets. everyone is a liar.. a dissapointment.

even though my computer is gone.. my sidekick… my screen door busted off the hinges.. life goes on.. there is always tomorrow.. i am taking everything day by day.. and if you want to shit talk go ahead, words dont affect me anymore.. i know who i am, and who i want to be.. and there is nothing wrong with that..

we are all sinners.goodnight.